Sometimes life throws us a series of tough blows, leaving us still struggling with the echoes years down the track. My client Isaac had faced his share of challenges—from an abrupt career change to difficulties with self-regulation and addiction, and even a painful rift with his mother-in-law. Despite all his efforts to find inner peace, Isaac still felt like something was holding him back from true contentment.
A Sense of Confusion
In the 'Overarching Energy and Guidance' position of the spread, Isaac received the Two of Swords. As I looked down at the blindfolded figure holding two crossed swords, I sensed that Isaac had been grappling with intense emotions that had become blocked inside him. I felt a simmering mix of frustration and self-doubt. Isaac repeatedly said, 'I just feel so confused,' which perfectly captures the essence of the Two of Swords, indicating that he was still trying to make sense of his recent past.
Isaac opened up about his struggles from the past three years. After completing a gruelling university degree and then facing an unexpected career shift shortly after, Isaac and his partner moved in with her mother to regroup and find their bearings. As Isaac tried to find space to process what had happened and figure out his next steps, the situation intensified, worsened by his mother-in-law's lack of sensitivity and tact. What began as tension soon escalated into consistent passive-aggressive behaviour, further rubbing salt in the wound Isaac was already trying to heal. This left him feeling suffocated, unseen and unappreciated, leading him to fall back on an old method of self-soothing—alcohol and late nights for solace. After much anguish, he decided to confront his mother-in-law, which led to moving out and finding a new path.
Surrendering the Past
Surrendering the Past
Years later, Isaac is in a much better position. He’s landed a prestigious job and is exploring healthier methods of self-regulation and keeping alcohol at bay. While things with his mother-in-law remain challenging, he’s developed a much stronger stance in response to her inability to see Isaac for who he really is. Yet, Isaac still wanted to understand what was pulling him back into old thought patterns, as he remained prone to strong feelings of discontentment, hopelessness, and frustration. To delve deeper, we drew two more cards, one for each crossed sword seen in the 2 of Swords. Astoundingly, Isaac received the 9 of Swords on one side and the 10 of Swords on the other, indicating he was at the final stages of a breakthrough.
On one hand, the 9 of Swords symbolised the intense mental anguish Isaac had endured, with critical thought patterns challenging his self-worth over the years. The card revealed a misalignment between his mind and heart, where negative projections from others had infiltrated his self-worth, running amok and creating inner conflict and bodily tension. This often leads to insomnia, which Isaac had also been struggling with. On the other hand, the Ten of Swords signified a progression into a state of absolute surrender. It reflected how Isaac had reached the end of his tether—sick and tired of carrying this toxic perspective about himself and his life. He was ready to finally let it go and return to the simplicity and joy of his own heart.
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Letting go of the past is easier said than done, especially when painful feelings are tangled up with debilitating stories and belief patterns formed during times of disappointment and loss. I shared with Isaac that his mind had often been a place of confusion because he had learned to habitually escape there to avoid the intense emotional responses in his body. Instead of truly experiencing his emotions as they arose, he had been subconsciously trying to ‘think them away,’ which only provided fleeting relief—and further confusion. This detachment prevented him from forming a loving relationship with himself during challenging times. When this kind of inner detachment persists, addictive behaviours can seem like the only solution.
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Inviting In Contentment
For the ‘Present Energy,’ Isaac received the 4 of Cups, a card symbolising inner dissatisfaction. This card resonated deeply with Isaac, reflecting the persistent “discontentment” he had experienced for as long as he could remember. I became curious about Isaac's relationship with contentment, as he seemed so familiar with its absence. Isaac shared that throughout his adult life, whenever things felt aligned and exciting, they often ended in disappointment. He recounted multiple examples of careers and study paths that hadn't turned out as he had hoped.
It became clear that Isaac had understandably learned not to trust contentment, believing it would only lead to disappointment and further suffering. When I shared this observation with him, Isaac was visibly shocked. It had never occurred to him that contentment was something he might be subconsciously blocking—he had always believed that life itself was somehow withholding it from him. The 4 of Cups revealed to Isaac that true contentment wasn’t a distant 'place' somewhere in his future, but rather a ‘feeling state’ that he could consciously invite back in and learn to trust again. Achieving this would require making it an ongoing practice—one that he could tenderly cultivate over time through consistent choices towards unconditional self-acceptance and embracing the aliveness of the present moment.
Sharing the Process
Sharing the Process
In the position of ‘outcome,’ Isaac received the Ace of Wands, a card indicating that the new beginning he was seeking already existed—he just needed a bit more of a nudge to align himself with it. Isaac seemed surprised to learn that he was so close to achieving what he longed for—more self-love and contentment. The stories he had been telling himself, that he was broken, unworthy, and still far from his goals despite all the changes he had made, were the very things holding him back. The Ace of Wands served as a torch in the confusing dark, illuminating the truth that each brand new moment held what he was seeking; he just needed to consciously tune into it.
However, there was something more he needed to do to make this possible. The 3 of Pentacles, a card highlighting the benefits of collaboration and teamwork, indicated that this wasn’t meant to be a solitary journey for Isaac. While he had made strides by opening up with his therapist, it was clear he needed additional support in his day-to-day life. This card suggested that to fully achieve his breakthrough, he might benefit from seeking a sounding board for moments of emotional overwhelm, especially when cravings for addictive substances arose. His partner and close friends would play a crucial role here. By voicing when the past weighed him down, when old patterns flared up, or when strong emotions began to accumulate, Isaac could catch these warning signs early and prevent them from spiralling into self-loathing and relapse. This practice of naming and sharing his internal experiences would help him stay ahead of the patterns that had previously held him back.
Isaac was actually in a strong position to finally heal and resolve his relationship with his past—not just the events from years ago, but also the lingering effects of childhood trauma that likely underpinned his recurring suffering. The final ingredient in this healing process was vulnerability—actively sharing his inner experiences with those he trusted most. By moving past the fear of 'being a burden' and practising open, relational communication, Isaac could begin to dismantle the barriers that had kept him trapped in his old patterns. This practice of honest sharing about his inner world was key to his ongoing growth and recovery.
In this reading, Isaac, who had been struggling with a sense of confusion and discontentment, used Tarot insights and coaching to gain clarity on his path to self-love and self-acceptance. Through our session, Isaac realised that he had to start practicing accepting his feelings on an emotional level so that he could step out of confusion and into the aliveness of the present moment. After our session, Isaac received his ‘Insight Soul Summary’—a handy breakdown of the reading—and I provided him with a script to start practising open dialogue with his partner and close friends.
I hope Isaac's story provides relatable points to navigate challenging emotions so that you can find a deep level of contentment and inner peace.
