Sometimes, the past has a funny way of sneaking into our present, often through the people we meet. My client Ella was no stranger to this. After being abandoned by her dad at a young age, she’s been on a mission to heal her inner child and redefine her relationship with the masculine energy in her life. But here’s the thing—Ella kept running into the same roadblock: attracting men who, despite their charm and good intentions, were unavailable for the long haul. She’s perfectly content on her own, yet somehow, she always ends up with someone who ticks a lot of boxes but just isn’t ready to dive into something deeper.
The Past Reawakened
In the card position of ‘the past,’ the King of Swords made his entrance, bringing with him the energy of a strong, authoritative male figure. As is often the case with Swords cards, there was an air of detachment. The moment I saw this card, I sensed a paternal energy, which led us to pinpoint it as representing Ella’s father—someone she’s been disconnected from since childhood.
At this time, Ella had been seeing someone for a few months. He lived away but would occasionally visit her town for work. Things were going well; he was charming, had a solid job in education, and the chemistry between them was surprisingly strong. However, the long distance was starting to create a gap, and Ella felt the connection wasn’t being reciprocated as much as she’d hoped. This triggered some old thought patterns, casting doubts on her self-worth and lovability.
An old wound had reopened, linked to the abandonment she experienced at a young age. Fortunately, Ella had done significant healing around this issue, so she was able to recognize the connection without too much shock. Even so, she found herself sitting in uncertainty, wondering if this guy would play a significant role in her future.
Making the Inner Connection
Making the Inner Connection
In the card position of ‘the present moment,’ the lovely Page of Cups appeared. This card often signifies the arrival of a new relationship or connection, but it also speaks deeply to our inner connection with ourselves. Reflecting on Greek mythology, the Page of Cups evokes the myth of Narcissus, the beautiful youth who fell in love with his own reflection. You might notice that the name Narcissus is quite similar to narcissism, and indeed, this myth is the origin of those traits. Yet, this card symbolises a beautiful return to its roots, urging Ella to look at her own reflection with love and adoration despite the looming sense of rejection. It guided her to prioritise self-love in this situation and not to compromise it for anything. In this way, self-love became her path to finding love from others.
The Page of Cups appeared to guide Ella back to the true work at hand: nurturing and caring for her own inner child. I could sense that the activated emotional wound her inner child had carried from an early age was contributing to more internal confusion in an already unclear situation. The little girl within her seemed to be holding too tightly to an outcome, while also fearing rejection and abandonment. When I shared this with Ella, I could see she was a bit flummoxed. She had already completed several courses on healing her inner child and felt frustrated, as though she was back to square one.
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I explained to Ella that inner child work is never truly finished; it’s an ongoing relationship between our adult self and the more vulnerable parts of us. Since the wound she had sustained stemmed from relationship, it therefore also needed to be healed through relationship. Even though it felt like an old pattern, this was actually an opportunity for her to reconnect with this part of herself in a completely new context. The beautiful truth I shared with her is that she can now show her inner child that it will never be abandoned again, because she will always be there for her.
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Balancing Generosity with Self-Worth
Ella understandably wanted to know if there was any value in continuing with this romantic interest. For guidance, she drew the Six of Pentacles in the position of ‘best course of action.’ This card represents the delicate balance of give and take through wise discernment. It highlighted a recurring pattern in Ella’s life—leaning towards prospective partners who ended up being unavailable for the long haul. The card made it clear: Ella needed to balance being in the excitement of a new connection with staying connected to herself so she doesn't abandon her own inner child. This is a recognition that her energy and love are valuable resources not to be given lightly.
I could feel that Ella really had a lot to offer, and I encouraged her to connect with the big love she was ready to give and to evaluate if this guy was in a position to receive it. While it was apparent that she wasn’t feeling that he was, the long distance and the early stage of their connection might have made it too soon for final judgments. It seemed there was still something for her to gain from this dynamic. She wasn't ready to just end it there.
Taking the Long View
Taking the Long View
In the position of ‘The Challenge and the Block to Work Around,’ Ella received The Ace of Pentacles, a card symbolising a seed of potential ready to grow. This card carried a double meaning for Ella: it suggested there was still something to learn from her current situation with this guy—more growth ahead—but it also urged her to see the bigger picture beyond this connection. I sensed this was a powerful opportunity for Ella to examine where she might subconsciously be trying to recreate her past abandonment wound. For many of us, the effort we put into trying to make difficult or unavailable people 'be good' to us is largely a leftover survival response that our inner child is still frozen in. Just as we did with figures from our childhood—like Ella did with her father—we persist in believing or hoping that people will meet our needs, even when they don’t have the capacity to do so.
For the outcome, Ella drew the Ten of Pentacles—the final card in the Pentacles suit, perfectly complementing the Ace. This card, depicting a happy family and a castle, symbolised that her dream of having her own family would come true. It was a beautiful reminder for her to reconnect with this dream and embrace the feelings it brought. I shared with Ella that she didn't need to stress about relationships right now. The final outcome she sought—partnership, family, legacy—was already hers, and life would bring it to her when the timing was right.
Ella also had an exciting trip to Europe on the horizon—a journey she’d been eagerly planning for some time. This travel would naturally create the distance she needed to step back and reflect on where she truly stood in her relationship, and with herself.
In many ways, Ella’s trip to Europe was the perfect metaphor for what she needed—a chance to reconnect with the joy, curiosity, and sense of adventure that would nourish her inner child. When she returned, she wouldn’t just be coming back from a holiday; she’d be returning from a personal voyage, carrying with her a renewed and empowered perspective. As is often the case, when we feel full and alive, our wounds settle into their rightful place as wise guides rather than unconscious traps.
In this reading, Ella, who was grappling with the echoes of past abandonment, used Tarot insights and coaching to reconnect with her inner child, nurture self-love, and carefully assess whether her current relationship was truly aligned with her deepest needs and desires. Through this journey, Ella learned to balance vulnerability with discernment, gaining the clarity she needed to embrace her future with renewed confidence. After our session, she received her ‘Insight Soul Summary’—a handy breakdown of the reading—and I guided her in creating practices to self-regulate when the abandonment wound becomes activated.
I hope Ella’s story provides relatable insights to help you connect with your inner child and find the clarity needed to navigate your own journey toward inner and outer love.
